We wrote a tale a few weeks ago about a bat ray on a beach that jumped over a shark. One fortunate beachgoer was fortunate enough to capture the entire spectacle on camera. What a step! That stingray is even being referred to as “Rayquon Barkley.” When the shark community learned of this shame, one shark in Panama City, Florida, decided to go all vigilante and take retribution in the name of sharks everywhere. I hope it was worth it for that specific ray. If this fight is to be scored as a boxing contest, it must be “shark by unanimous decision.”
I don’t think that Ray has the strength to defend himself by the conclusion of the film, despite taking a few nice shots. Hurry up, stingrays! You bastards, it was for Steve Irwin! It appears that sharks have decided enough is enough and are no longer being used as food by OutKick writers. I would think this was a coordinated attack if I didn’t know any better, and there’s probably more out there. The most absurd aspect is how near shore all of this occurred. With their toes submerged in the sea, several beachgoers sat and watched the horror unfold as if they were at a “swim with the dolphins” event.
I’ve long wondered why shark attacks are so common at Panama City Beach. However, I can now understand that it’s because the typical beachgoer is a complete idiot who wades out into the shallows to see an apex predator eat its prey like they’re watching the Discovery Channel from their couch. This is made possible by the introduction of camera phones and social media. These beachcombers are quite fortunate. This shark wasn’t as interested in eating the flesh of a family on vacation from Iowa as he was in getting even with the stingray that had cheated on his cousin.
Be the first to comment